Archive:Pahuru Stonesap
Pahuru Stonesap is perhaps the ugliest thing to ever fall off the cliffs of Thunder Bluff. Wall-eyed, knock-kneed, buck-toothed, and saw-horned, he's like a random collection of Tauren body parts pressed into service together. To make matters worse, he is also a brain-damaged simpleton, although his innocent, child-like demeanor often mitigates much of the ill-will he otherwise receives as a consequence. He can often be found meandering about his adopted home city of Dalaran in a blue flannel shirt, cowboy hat, and filthy denim britches, a humming tuneless melody and dancing in the street when the mood overcomes him. On special occasions, he dons a bright pink, knit sweater decorated with cheerfully prancing reindeer. Background Pahuru doesn't talk much about his formative years. What has been gleaned from conversations with him is that his step-mother, Madohan Rivertail, was once married to his father, Haliawa Stonesap, and that he was subsequently raised by her in the Dancing Eagle Inn until just after his coming of age ceremony, despite his father having been dead for a number of years. He doesn't have much memory of Haliawa; in fact, most of his personal knowledge of the man comes from the people who knew him, or knew of him. Haliawa is a hero in his son's eyes, an ideal reinforced by Thunder Bluff's elder shaman, Master Skychaser, who once hinted that the man had saved his life. Desperate to live up to his father's memory, he pursued shamanistic teachings with an almost fanatical devotion. Unfortunately, the Earth Mother never tapped him for servitude to Her. As long as he followed her ways, he failed at everything. It soon became apparent to everyone but him that he commanded the nature magic of Elune, making him in fact a druid. The idea of being a druid shamed him, however, for that was not the path his father had walked. So he denied it, denied Elune, and denied her gifts. Shortly after Madohan kicked him out of the inn, he fell in with the druids of Elder Rise and Master Runetotem. It wasn't long before Master Runetotem had a bellyful of Pahuru's simple minded ways and the boy's constant insistence that he was actually a shaman and not a druid. He banished Pahuru not only from Elder Rise, but from Thunder Bluff, telling him he could only return when he embraced the truth of his destiny. Should he return before that, the druid would kill him. Pahuru traveled on his own for a while, running into constant trouble wherever he went. Ruthless people were quick to take advantage of him. He eventually ended up Silvermoon city in Quel'thelas. When blood elf mage volunteered to open a portal for the boy to send him back to the Undercity from whence he had just come, Pahuru accepted and soon found himself in Dalaran instead far, far to the north. There he met Mage-Investigator Wellis Quince and the self-styled "Mother of the Horde", Mumsie, a rather harmless Forsaken crone whose delusions made her extremely unpredictable. Quince discovered the remnants of Pahuru's twin brother, who never survived past the fetal stage all those years ago inside their biological mother, inside his brain. Although it was neither sentient nor independently alive, it was responsible for the lesion that had caused Pahuru's retardation. It was also gradually swelling, putting the boy's life at risk. Because the tissue was so deeply integrated into his brain, neither Quince nor Mumsie could heal him permanently with their magic. In the end, Mumsie took him to Wyrmrest Temple where upon she gained them an audience with no less a personage than the queen of all living dragons, Alexstraza the Lifebinder. Alexstraza removed the fetal tissue to pay back a debt owed to Mumsie, thus ultimately saving Pahuru's life. She also spoke privately to the boy – mind-to-mind - and revealed to him his true destiny. Her words had a deeply profound effect on him, allowing him to finally accept that he was, indeed, a druid. Because he still wanders the world at large, his story is far from finished... Involvement A comedic figure, Pahuru exists primarily to help alleviate overly melodramatic role-playing through absurdity, as well as to show another side of Tauren culture unfettered by gnomic aphorisms, stoicism, and unflinching devotion to leaves and grass. Strategy He has always been a notorious coward. However, since being 'fixed' by Alexstraza in Wyrmrest Temple, he is increasingly finding the wherewithal to be brave. He really, really, really prefers not to fight. To defeat him in battle, one can simply scare the wits out of him; he'll take off running like a pack of Ghost Wolves are hot on his tail. Quotes "I ain't no damn druid. Enuf said 'bout that, I reckon." Trivia Pahuru's IQ is somewhere in the vicinity of 80. Someone in Dalaran once told Pahuru that gnomes used to be the robotic caretakers of Azeroth. To this day, every time he sees a robot he thinks it's a gnome. Real gnomes, on the other hand, he thinks are kobolds. He fell out the sewer exit in Dalaran's Underbelly all the way to the ground below. And survived. See also * Link External links * Pahuru Stonesap, Coward http://wyrmrestaccord.net/content/pahuru-stonesap-coward * Cow'belle Lettres http://wyrmrestaccord.net/content/cowbelle-lettres Category:Archived Characters Category:Archived